Yesterday n today...

really enjoyed myself ytd.. met up wif jy with my bf.. BUT half way thru dad called n drop me a damn huge bomb shell tt really disturbed me alot n enough to spoil my mood for the whole evening tho its simply stuff like slacking at starbucks dinner at NYDC n pool but e conversations we had we certaintly worth remembering.. anyway.. hooked on some new ideas n ambitions.. guess everything happens for a reason.. today is a sickening day cos to begin with i only sleep for an hr n i am really shag.. practically half slp n awake all the time tt is really terrible.. cant settle the appeal stuff by today cos planning to submit on mon.. grad proj synopsis due on 4th march.. my thoughts eating me away.. den numerous issues happened n kinda jus add on to the already tense atmosphere..n most importantly HOT DAY! grrrrrrrrr.... weird day.. argh really v tired feel like slping.. nwadaes like to slp alot.. haha cos i love to dream..definitely gonna turn in real early tml.. finally its week end!!! time to start on the synopsis!

yeah!!!

Finally found the song i am dying for yeah!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Great Day~!

Finally!!!! convinced myself to shop n splurge as i have been really on a tight budget after babe came into my life.. while waiting for JJ i spend the one and a half hr shopping... bought five tops from Future State and a pair of turquoise shoe frm Xodus.. their plastic carrier is replaced by a bag.. as in a real bag made of cloth.. cool..! anyway thank god she came after that if not i would have to declare bankrupt ... so we walk ard n went to Cafe Cartel for tea/dinner.. n after which she left for wrk while i met up with dear.. went home quite early as my gastric is killing me... god knows why but its has been reoccuring frequently recently and its really killing me.. any one knows any remedy for that?? anyway has been tunning in dutifully to lush 99.5fm recently.. esp frm 9 - 12 haha.. hook on downtempo chill out urban nu jazz stuff nwadays!

Just the always emotional me..

As i change my layout n stuff.. i realised that i've changed over time... is it good? or bad? i dont know.. perhaps both... i think i am becoming a lil scary as i dont even know who i am any more.. its so scary to change w/o realising n i am some one who needs to be in ctrl of myself.. cuz no one can ctrl me.. time seems to be accelerating.. i am so afraid suddenly.. i hate to be losing ctrl man.. i dream alot.. but i wonder do i really want the dream to turn into reality?
Would you not agree that fear actually intrigue us? well at least for me its e case... i guess w.o fear many things will lose its meaning..
why must one choose to escape and live in denial n pretence when he can face the issue.. fear.. fear of rejection, fear of failing, fear of looking into the other's eyes, fear of giving in, fear of losing something dear, fear of changes, fear of facing unpleasant emotions.. to sum it up its all because of fear..
i think i am weird.. or perhaps just extremely stubbon.. wadever thats forbidden, challenging wrong or sinful tends to push me even further..but after its solved or achieved, it no longer has any meaning.. think this is one aspect i really gotta change.. if nto i'll nv gonna be happy..

Happy!!!!

omg i passed i passed... i was so worried but i passed all!!! omg omg omg thank god thank god... i've got 3B's n 1D... i am overjoyed!!! in sucha good mood nw... omg... i cant believe it... 2 more to go before i grad.. exam n grad proj... yeah yeah!! anyway went to coffee club jus nw n tried the peach garden tea.. OMG!!!!!! one of e nicest things on earth.. the fragrance is really sweet!... haha gonna try it again the nx time i go there.. :)

Valentine's day 2oo6

A year just zoom past like this and this is the second valentine with dear ler.. though it might not be dramatic or wadsoever but its undeniably sweet.. we kick the day off by spending ages at hmv listening to some tiesto's armin's & paul van dyke's as well as checking out some downtempo music album...i practically needed to be drag out of the place.. den we had a scumptious valentine dinner at jacks place.. dear's lobster is so darn good! n the steak i had is cook exactly the way i like.. not too raw nor cooked.. thinking of the scallop from the appetizer is enought to make me drool.. :P saw jasmine (lingy) n we took a double glance before confirming its each other.. wad a small world~! after which me n dear head off to one of our fav chillout place.. wine bar @ zouk.. one for one !! yeah "tan dio" wahaha so after a few rounds of drinks n gobbing a few stirer from them.. we decide to call it a day n head home.. simple n sweet yeap.. next occasion to look forward to.. some wedding in msia n dear's bdae..which is like 5 more weeks to go.. guess by that time its time for my exams cant wait to grad man!! results shud be coming soon... PLEASE DON FAIL ME AGAIN! anyway this is my new layout.. took me ages man! anyway as my memory is getting worse i better blog down our annivesary before i forget.. it was on the 7th.. exactly a week ago.. had dinner at an italian restaurant at raffles city we had fun making fun of things here n dere.. especially my cheesecake which tasted like some "kueh neng kou" i was simply pissed haha.. however the spinach n crab meat soup is superb.. n the main dish is ... er lets not even mention that haha.. after which we took a long walk to esplanade n sit on the rocks for practicaly an hr doing nth but enjoying the breeze and chat n spying on other couples doing indecent stuff.. hilarious!!! haha .. we headed back to introbar n had one drink n as i suddenly rem i got class in the morning the nx dae thus we head home pretty early.. so thats al i can rem of recent.. haha..

Lookout for the ?

Under Construction.. road block ahead :)

as below..

Dilemma

feeling so torn apart rite nw... i think i have split personality! confusion leads to the inability to differentiate the best path for me...

ahead of me shows the many different path.. n deep inside of me i crave to take the darkest one.. i'd rather lead a memorable life full of ups and down then to have a safe yet boring life..

i miss the forbidden.. i longed to break free.. but i cant deny the fear that has settled within me.. 10 years down the road, i dont wanna look back and regret.. for i noe either paths requires sacrifices that i may not be able to pay.. i am like a raging storm that's confined in a box.. dying to break free.. i know i can get wad i want in the future but my heart cant bear to let go of the present.. please set me free from all the painful inhibitions