self reflection

i realised tt over e yrs i realie change alot.. i mean who doesnt? all my life i keep urging time to move faster.. even nw.. (n i am sure i wun regret for tis period of time.. till nx yr june 18th) all my life i hate sch.. except when i am P5 n 6 when i got e 4 peas in a pod.. dey made a huge diff in my life.. n tt is probably e only period of time tt i miss..
i miss thailand.. i miss the 4 precious daes.. tho alot of things sux.. but tt 4 daes i realie treasure alot.. listening to don phunk wif my heart jus remind me of e hotel cos everydae b4 we sleep n when we jus wake up e tv will play e song.. i promise myself tt i'll go dere wif him again n live e 4 or more daes over again..but gotta wait till nx yr when i finish sch..
Now i live my life waiting for the future to arrive.. simply wishing tt time will jus fly as fast as possible.. i wanna start wrk again.. don wanna be stuck n bounded by sch.. simply so sick of it.. its like only e 4th week n i'm ald damn sick of it.. simply dono hw to pass e rest of e yr..
There's alot i wish to change in me..my weird mindset.. my too emotional soul.. my stubboness.. my temper my impatience my indecisiveness my impulsive nature my sterotype thinking.. if only dey'd be gone i guess i'l be a better person..
Maybe partly tt y i love him so much.. becos he is everything i am nt.. he is jus like e other half who balance me.. or at least get a hold on me as i can get so off e hook.. i wonder if i am of any good for him? he is one person who made me feel tt he is so much better den i am .. haha n not many pple make me think tis way.. many pple might have a thing or two to sae abt his age.. but let me sae tis once n for all.. his age is perfect for me.. well given tt i'm more mature den a num of pple its only normal tt i love some one more steady, reliable, seccure n mature.. n he is e one..
He can give me good advices when i'm at lost ..n trust me nt everyone can give me useful ones.. he tell me his experience n guide me in life.. he is oways beside me making sure i don fall down.. becos he noe where i'd fall.. as he has been thru all tis b4.. he give me love n concern as well as understand my emotions.. he makes me listen dispite me being stubbon but becos its him.. i listen.. maybe its outta love initially tt i try to listen but later on i'd realise he is rite all along.. u noe e kinda feeling? like even e sky falls dw he'd still be dere beside u assuring u tt e sky will go up in a moment hahaha even if it wun.. he makes me believe tt it will.. i'm nt saying he's a saint.. jus simply saying tt he is e perfect one for me..
I hate games.. (well i still hate dem) but i find myself looking at warcraft becos he plays it.. i used to hate anime n comics.. he managed to make me fall in love wif anime.. so funny..
Maybe its e environment tt i;m brought up in.. oways being forced to do the things tt i hate.. v given a choice.. tt made me goes all softy when he use e soft approach.. n maybe he understand tt y he noes hw to handle me..
oh god i'm jus so in love wif him!